Devotional
for Wednesday, March 07, 2007 Text: Ephesians
5:21-33 Don’t
just read the other half… I
love this text on marriage. It is often misquoted, partially quoted
and quoted in a way as to justify
one position over the other in marriage. I should know, I’ve
done it many times in the past. If you’re a spouse like I was
who used this text to assert your authority over your spouse, then
I suggest we look at it together and let God reveal the real truth
here.
It’s important to note that the passage actually begins with verse 21
where it says, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Both
roles in marriage involve a great deal of submitting, setting aside our own
desires, crucifying our flesh and humbling ourselves. As followers of Christ,
we should be known by having submissive attitudes, not just in our marriages
but to all people. The scripture says to submit to one another out of reverence
for Christ. Having submissive hearts in all situations is one way we worship
God and show our devotion to Him. So, to the husband, if you find yourself
in a situation in your marriage where you feel you have to remind your wife
that her role is to submit to you, rest assured that you’re already totally
in the wrong. Luke 6:41 says, "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust
in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” There
is no way you can minister submission to another until you are living it
out in victory in your own life first.
The next point of interest is verse 22 where it says, “Wives submit to
your husbands as to the Lord.” Take notice who the text is addressing,
wives. It doesn’t say, “husbands read this to your wives and make
sure they are aware that I want them to submit to you and be sure to enforce
this submission in them as part of your duty as priest of them home.” No,
it is spoken to wives from God. The only affect we as husbands can have on
how well our wives do in this area is by the example of submission we set
for them. Ouch!
Now to the wives, remember it says submit to your husbands as the head, as
Christ is the head of the church. Many wives have no problem picturing themselves
as submitting to the Lord because they see Him as this picture perfect compassionate
leader, but when you tell them to now also embody that same level of submission
to their husbands. Their answer is, “Well you don’t know my husband.” You’re
right, I don’t know your husband but I know God’s commands and
I can think of a lot of reasonable exceptions in my own life for feeling like
I am excluded from obedience to His word. That’s the flesh, its rebellion
and God calls rebellion witchcraft (See I Samuel 15:23). There are many wives
who put on an act of fake submission in public but then have a totally different
way of relating to their husbands in private. This occurs mostly in the church.
We need to be transparent in our marriages and seek to truly live out mutual
submission, not basing our submission on the performance of our spouse but
on God’s biblical command.
In verse 25 of the text, it tells husbands to love their wives just as Christ
loved the church. I often wondered why it tells wives to submit and husbands
to love. One reason I think is that the text speaks directly to the tendency
of our flesh. In Genesis 3:16 after Adam and Eve fell in sin, the Lord spoke
this to Eve, “Your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule
over you.” The NLT says “you’ll want to control your husband
and He’ll lord it over you.” The basic tendency of our flesh manifests
itself in marriage like this: Men want to control their wives through domination
and women want to control their husbands through manipulation. So Paul addresses
this issue by telling wives, don’t try to control your husbands, submit
to their leadership. To husbands he says, don’t dominate over your
wives, love them like Jesus loves the church.
Furthermore, the responsibility that Paul places on the husband with this
text would almost seem to be unfair. Wives are called to fulfill the role
of the
church but husbands are called to fulfill the role of Christ. Don’t forget
that we in marriage, just like Christ and the church are called one body. One
of the biggest mistakes we make in marriage is to see ourselves as separate
entities. It is the beginning of all division in marriage. The Lord sees us
as one body so by competing or casting blame on each other doesn’t make
any sense except to take something God has called one and to say in our hearts, “No
God, you’re wrong, we’re two.”
Lastly, in verse 33 Paul closes his dissertation on marriage by saying, “each
one of you must also love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect
her husband” once again affirming that a husband, who will have no problem
showing respect, will have to work toward showing love and should make it his
priority in marriage. How should it look? Like the love Christ has for the
church, even so far as to say, “as Christ loved the church and gave himself
up for her.” Husbands are commanded to do no less then give up our lives,
our comforts and our entitlements for our wives. Likewise wives are told to
respect their husbands. I think for most wives the showing love part is easy,
it’s the respect thing that they don’t see the same way as we do.
So the wives need to labor toward learning how to show respect to their husbands.
Wives, if you’re not sure how, all you have to do is think of how you
would act if Jesus was your husband, because that’s exactly what the
text says. But please, both of you, don’t forget verse 21. Our lives
as believers should be distinguishable by our submission, not only to our spouses
but to all. “Submit yourselves one to another out of reverence for
Christ.” How to pray this scripture: Dear Lord Jesus, give me a
submissive heart. Father, may I obey your word and show reverence to
you by my humble submission not only to my spouse but to all men. Lord,
give me wisdom and perseverance to fulfill my role in marriage exactly
how your word commands. • Husbands:
I pray that as a husband I would give my life up for my wife as Christ
did for
the church. I pray that I would love her the way you have called
me to, so she can pursue the holy life you have called her to.
• Wives: I pray that as a wife I would submit to my husband as the priest
of the home, showing him respect in all things and trusting his leadership.
• Both: Lord, may we submit ourselves one to another out a genuine love
and affection to see your kingdom promises for our marriage fulfilled. May
we live out the love that you have for your church and that the church should
have
for you and set the example for others by our love and submission to each other.
In Jesus name, Amen.
Other Scriptures
to read:
Genesis 2:18-25
Malachi 2:14-17
Luke 6:41-42
I Peter 3:1-7
Hebrews 13:4 |